Hewwo again, evewybody!

It is, once again, time for a bit of blog necromancy. And what better way to rise from the ruins than with an introduction to the upcoming game of limpwristed adventure and one-sided combat that is Frownies and Brownies?

Hewwo evewybody! Wewcome to the wowld of fwownies and bwownies, the game whew you command a fowce of the handsome and fwiendwy brownies against the eviw and nasty fwownies in skiwmish combat! I hope you awe aww vewy excited!


Brownie Prehistory

The Origins of the Brownie races remain shrouded in mystery, with only theories being offered up to account for their existence in the world of high adventure. While many claim them to be the offspring of a long dead fey god of the forest, myriad other theories abound as to the means and motives of their progenitor. For example, the Sequanese claim that the brownies were given form when a cold-hearted wizard, jilted by a halfling woman who was with child, placed a terrible curse on her, damning her offspring, and creating the template brownie from which all others are descended.
Incarceralian Shaman, meanwhile, claim that the Brownies were created after a great famine in their home country, as a way to ensure that the vicious predators that occupy the etbak would never again want for sustenance, diverting attention from its human residents and dwarven colonists and allowing them to establish the moderate level of civilization which exists in Incarcerallia today.

In any case, the first recorded encounter by a higher race with brownies comes from the memoirs of a goblin warlord named Haghuf Anklebiter. Haghuf was regarded as a "Untrustworthy git" by his fellows and had established for himself a reputation as being a double-dealing coward (even by the standards of other goblins). As such, few other goblins would follow his cause, despite the chemical incentives the mountainous regions of Sequan offered. Because of this, Haghuf saw his greatest fortune in his mass recruitment of snotlings to his banner. With his army assembled, Haghuf and his followers set off towards Peting and its promises of impossible riches and power.
A week into his campaign, he came upon an enclave of fairy folk nestled deep in the mountains of centeral Sequan, where he and his personal retinue of Snotling bodyguards and aides-de-camp were warmly welcolmed into the realm by a long forgotten brownie regent. In typical greenskin fashion, Haghuf strangled the Chieftan and all of his cronies, save for one, who escaped to tell his fellows of this "tewwibwy mean" act.
This was to ignite what the Orcs and Goblins record as "The war of the runts".
The war began with a Brownie counterattack on Haghufs assembled forces who occupied the main enterway to the brownie realm. Haghuf and the heir to the brownie realm, both being vastly incompetent as commanders both sent the full weight of their respective armies into the battle for the foyer. Snotling fought brownies and, in a single night of madness, all save for Haghuf himself were wiped out to the last, leaving the goblin chieftan to rule alone over his subterranean empire. Dwarven explorers later discovered the remains of Haghuf, who had apparently succumbed to boredom and his records, which were to form the basis of the extremly limited biological and cultural studies of the brownie race.
At some point in their prehistory, brownies made their way to the central eastern kingdom of Hinjia, searching for fame and glory beyond their wildest dreams. A week in, they stumbled upon a halfling death cult, which promptly enslaved them, tasking them with mining the deserts for the lost artifacts of their dark god. These halflings are remembered as innovators and to this day, many slavers search far and wide for brownie communities which they can cast into iron, brownies being preferable as slaves, as they will rarely, if ever run from their masters.
Having recieved word of the fate of the Hinjian pioneers, those brownies remaining in Sequan set about expanding their realm, hoping to avoid the same fate. A period of revolutionary innovation took place, with brownie intellectuals creating many ever-so useful items, many of which are now lost to time. The most prominent of the innovators is a brownie intewwectual remembered only as "Bwort" who invented the stwinger grenade, Stwinger-pelt armour, the Brownie attack cart and the brownie short spear. Sadly, Bwort met with a terrible fate at the age of 10 when he fell fifty feet from his experimental ornithopter and was killed, an event whose description continues to traumatize any and all brownies who hear of it.
At the height of Brownie power, one leader, Bwyan, came to rule above all others, establishing his empire on the border between Sequan and Hinjia. Bwyan bankrolled a golden age in brownie culture, with massive subsidies of stwingers being granted to promising young intewwectuals, giving rise to a professional class of brownies which exists to this day. One such fortunate brownie, Rowry Towphkin, set out to discover evidence of the Brownies former glories. What he found instead, was the seed of their damnation.

The Gweat Schism

Rowry, in the course of his search, came upon an ancient cavern complex not far from Bwyans own great hall. As he cautiously advanced through a chamber revealed by some ill-fated halfling explorers who had previously sprung a hidden door and been crushed by it, he stumbled over a rock and fell to the ground, lying unconsious for several hours. When he came to, he saw before him a beat up, rusty horn. To a member of most any of the higher races, this would be ignored as scrap, but to a brownie, it was considered to be a monumentous find. Taking horn in hand, Rowry rushed back to his lord, presenting him with the sum of his accomplishments.
Having no knowledge of a horns proper function, Bwyan commended Rowry and had the horn mounted over his throne as a symbol of the high culture he had brought to his people. Rowry was to die penniless a few short years later, having never discovered anything of note beyond that horn.
Time went on, and the Brownies veneration of both Bwyan and the horn grew rapidly into a redemption cult which stipulated that, on the day of judgement, Bwyan would take horn in hand, and with it, smite the halfling gods down, leaving the brownies ancient enemies to wander in darkness for all of time. This myth grew so prevelent that eventually, Bwyan himself came to believe it, a fact which was absolutely critical in light of what was to soon transpire.
At the height of the Bwyanite empire, the halfling death cults of Hinjia recieved word from a self proclaimed prophet named Bungo Eastfarthing, that the time had come to place all the worlds brownies under their control, to be sacrificed to the dark god, Nodji. This revelation ignited a rush for war, and the halfling tribes of Hinja and the border regions poured into Sequan, with the aim of enslaving any and all brownies they came upon. It was only a matter of time before they found themselves at the house of Bwyan.
As the invaders poured into the foyer of Bwyans mountain palace, he knew that, barring a miracle, he, his followers and the civilization he had devoted his life to creating, would be wiped out. Eying the horn, Bwyan decided that this was a sure marker of judgement day and that the task laid out for his by his followers must be realized. He took the horn in hand and only then, as if by divine intervention, did he realize the proper function of the instrument. He blew a single deafening note and, amidst the chaos, a Djinn emerged from the horn. The Djinn, named Rejin'nyen, promised, in exchange for the worship and adoration of the brownies, that he would help them in casting out their ancient halfling rivals and preserve the gains of Brownie culture. Bwyan, faced with no other option as his peoples prophet, acquiesced and, with a gesture, Rejin'nyen destroyed the encroaching halfling army. The bwyanite brownies, it seemed, had been spared to expand their realm and raise themselves up to the level of the great races of Men, elves, Dwarves and Orcs.
A week later, a party of freelance adventurers consisting of a Human cleric, Dragonborn paladain and a halfling rogue set upon Bwyans palace, murdering him and his top advisors and taking for themselves the lamp. Those Brownies which remained, took this as a sign that they had offended their patron by their unwillingness to take that which was clearly their birthright. Almost overnight, the former house of Bwyan transformed itself into the first of many Fwownie temples, dedicated to the veneration of Rejin'nyen and the destruction of all other races in realization of the Brownies true destiny as singular rulers over all creation.
As brownies spread throughout the world, so to did the cult of the "Pwotectow" until such time as the Fwownies and their secular counterparts were almost equal in their numbers and abilites. Sadly, due to their religious division, the two factions were never able to establish anything even remotely resembling the greatness of the Bwyanite Empire.

Part two coming in 3 months or whenever I feel like it.

The diplomacy of the future, today!

"Nobowdy undewstand the dawkness in ouw widdle hearts!"

Frownies




Shortly after the birth of the race, the few yet established brownie communes, having been pressed into virtual slavery by their halfling biggers and betters, sought a way to advance their power, and, by extension, make the races of men and elves twembl..err....tremble before the Brownies. This provoked a period of rapid expansion of the brownie realms (by conquest of the stwingers habitat) as well as numerous innovations, many of which the brownies make use of today but have lost the means to manufacture (Stwinger grenades, moustache wax, rice cookers and the like)
During this tumultuous period, one of the communes, The House of Bwyan, came upon a magically imbued horn in the caverns in which they settled. Examining and ultimately playing the horn gave rise to a fallen god of tremendous (by brownie standards) power.



The Bwyanite Brownies, faced with the prospect of indefinite servitude, entered into a dark pact with the fallen god (whose name has been lost to history) whereby, in exchange for their help in bringing about his re ascension, the brownies would be granted the power to assert themselves on an uncaring and indifferent world, to tower over the great races of the old world and force them into submission.
Immediately after discovering this source of ancient and terrible power, however, the brownies were set upon by a party of free-lance adventurers in search of rare and powerful artifacts. During the ensuing struggle, The Brownies new found patron was once again bound to the horn, and only one of the Bwyanites was to survive to propagate his message of brownie supremacy to his kin.
Many thousands of years later, the cult of the pwotector has made significant inroads in brownie society, converting followers from nearly all of the races known subgeni and establishing itself as an overt political and military power in Brownie affairs. Although they were never granted any of the gifts promised to them by the pwotector, the change in world view experienced by converts has appeared to have augmented the physical and mental capabilities of the most devout among them. These brownies strike out from their cavernous homes, in search of slaves, converts and their lost deity. Due to their disparate physical appearance, the races of the old world have come to know the faithful as Frownies, a name which strikes terror into the hearts of the cults secular counterparts.

Frownies are most easily distinguished from Brownies by the shape and style of their facial hair. While the moustaches of most brownies curl up at the end, those of the Frownies taper down, making them look slightly more severe in their temper. However, this difference can be difficult to discern for some adventurers, and so the most reliable identifier is in the creatures temperament. While Frownies have proven to be just as naive as their counterparts, they have demonstrated violent impulses, attacking en masse that which they are unfamiliar with. Though this usually does not end well for the frownies, this aggression can proved extremely dangerous to a party weary of adventure or slowed by a wounded companion.


Armor Class: 7
Hit Dice: 1d4 hp
Attacks: Weapon, usually a sharpened stick (1d2)
Saving Throw: 19
Special: +1 to hit for every frownie in base contact.
Move: 10
XP: 30

Racial Class: Brownie Warrior

Certainly a class you'll want to play!

In Brownie communes, their are always those that, for some reason or another, seek glory beyond the small world of the Brownie community, a world outside filled with excitement, danger, and riches beyond their wildest fantasy. However, it is a world of death and cut-throat competition, where only the strongest and smartest live to reap the benefits. As expected, most Brownie adventurers don't make it far before death; carnivorous giant rats, terrible ogres (halflings), and the occasional cockroach mean that those who do decide to leave probably won't make it back home alive for rice and stwinger dinner. Amongst these soon-to-be-dead individuals, there are the champions, the wild cards, the ones who survive and go on, to bask in the fortunes that crawling through labyrinths in the dark provide.

BROWNIE WARRIOR
Prime Attribute: Dexterity 13+ (5% experience)
Hit Dice: 1d6-2 hit point/level (minimum 1 per level)
Weapons/Armor/Shields Permitted: see below

Brownies have darkvision up to 60 feet. Also, due to their tiny size, brownies are unable to wield larger weapons, such two-handed swords and battleaxes. brownies can only wield daggers and clubs, and must do so two-handed. They can also use sharpened shivs (1d3), sharp sticks (1d2), and rocks (1d1), which can be easily made and are free.

Armor and shields meant for humans, elves, and dwarves are simply to large and bulky for a brownie to wear.

At 10th level, a brownie warrior can establish a commune, with like-minded brownies joining in. eventually, he may even become king of the brownies!

Brownie warriors have thac0 and saving throws per level as fighting-men.
Lvl Experience Hit die
1 0 1
2 1000 2
3 2000 3
4 4000 4
5 8000 5
6 16,000 6
7 32,000 7
8 64,000 8
9 128,000 9
10 256,000 10

Hopefully this post will make up for the last three months inactivity.....

First, in order that I might get it out of my system and not subject anyone to further inanities by it.....

--------------------------GRATUITOUSLY UNNECESSARY PLUG----------------------


Schwarzenudel 3D, the first encounter is 2 weeks (or months) away from completion, with only the text files, sound effects and a few levels (which I will half-ass to the best of my ability) to complete. Not only that, order now, and we'll send you the Schwarzenudel\Wrath of Shangri-La double pack at no extra charge! Wow!

----------------------------END SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION----------------------


First, let me state that I consider my time with all of you to have been a privilege and that I hope it will continue well into the future. However, as of late, I have finally accepted the fact that any and all notions of formality or centeralized authority with regard to the LPGS are no longer relevant (that is, if they even existed in the first place). In accuality, the LPGS came into existance and continues to be built around the interpersonal relations of those classified as members, that is to say, the LPGS exists at different place at different times with different people, that it is in fact the much scorned "massive inter-friend party" we have all been critical of since its first mention in the original LPGS blog about 2 years ago. The trick is in scheduling carefully as to avoid interpersonal conflict. We are united by common interest, not common action and its time we treated our interactions accordingly. Simply put, I think we have all come to the realization that we cannot achieve this level of cohesiveness


However, with this in mind, it shouldn't be too much trouble to ensure that we don't end up like this.


So, with that out of the way, let us proceed to something a bit more relevent to our interests, rather than our actions.

With Games Workshop a distant memory and video game fatigue setting in, perhaps it is time to return to a simpler time, a time of great and powerful heroes, and sinister villians, of exotic creatures, where glory and honour dwarf in value even the most precious of treasures....





Oh......Wait. No.

Well, in any case, I propose a return to one of our most long-standing and universally favoured standbys, the tabletop RPG. As of this time, we have no less than FOUR active campaigns, with more being concieved of all the time. A return to
these realms, chivilrous or otherwise, should prevent further activities based drama, with the fringe benefit of being so universally accepted by just about everyone in our circle, likely offering the most enjoyment of any of our regular activities.

Closing fun fact



Weww Hewwo Evwybody!

Pwesent gwoup Brownie Mortawity wate (estimate): 263 and awways cwimbing....

A fond farewell to Games Workshop

I suppose this was going to happen sooner or later, as it probably did with many of those before me. Games Workshop has consistently produced good looking models and fun (if tactically simple) games, but price-wise, they're pretty much a rip-off. While there are those who have the means and desire to continue their hobby, my time playing and purchasing their games has come to a close. Me and others like me no longer are the target demographic of their company, unwanted customers that don't have the means to continue to support them. My days as a Warhammer 40,000 and Warhammer Fantasy player have ended. I'm sure that everyone who has given up on GW probably has written some rant on why their favorite miniature company is the ultimate force of darkness, along with some allusions to Nazi Germany and the evils of capitalism. Rather than lash out, instead I'd rather take a short time to analyze exactly why I am no longer content to play, and how they could've avoided this situation.

I have to admit, that even before I got into 40k at the age of 14, GW had always had expensive miniatures priced ahead of the inflation rate. But there is a reason for this, that being the scale of their games at the time. Back in the 80's Warhammer 40k 1st and 2nd edition were both considered skirmish games, meaning that you probably had 50 models at most per side. In those times, you were allowed to have around 25% of your points dedicated solely to your HQ units, meaning that with the wide variety of wacky weapons and gadgets, you could bulk up on points fairly easily. In a 2000 point game between Space Wolves and Eldar, you'll probably get around 25 models per side, because of all the additional add-ons and elements represented in the game's rules, rather than the pieces of play on the field. An Ork warboss loaded with mega-armor, various cyborg attachments, and perhaps a grenade launcher loaded with vortex grenades could be around 1/8th or 1/4th of your entire points budget (depending on how many points are agreed upon per side). Mind you, the aformentioned game between Eldar and Marines could take 4 hours of play, but that's alright and to be expected, because the rules are balanced around you using that many models, and add the tactical options available with each playing piece. Yes, the models were pricey, but it was fair, because you didn't need that many to play.

Not so in 2010. With each new edition released (c'mon, you're supposed to update all the codexes for 4th edition before moving on to 5th!) the average game size increases. I don't mean that in the sense of points values, since the worth of a model changes from edition to edition. With the exception of perhaps the Imperial Guard, armies in 2nd edition consisted of 3 or 4 squads reinforced with a plastic tank or two. In 3rd edition, the average army size is a reinforced platoon, 5 or 6 squads, not including command, with 3 or 4 armored vehicles. With this the rules are simplified, but the scale has been increased to accept a platoon-sized game in about the same amount of time it took for the 20 models to duke it out. Plus, these troop choices are now in plastic, so it's not too much of an increase in price, since you're getting more in each box. The problem comes in the fact that in recent editions, with the focus on apocalypse sized games, that 2000 points could very well be an entire company. In current codex updates, the points value of individual models are reduced, with army wide special rules not being represented in "invisible" points that effect the entire army. So the average points allowance of a wholesome "balanced" game is upped to 2000 or 2500, while the points value for units and troops decreases, and the monetary cost of these models of decreased game value goes up all at the same time.

The rules for 40k are now not too tactically exciting or really get me thinking and strategizing. Subjectively, it now feels like games are decided by little personal skill, at least compared to 2nd edition. This is okay though, because modern 40k is what we consider a Beer & Pretzels game. The focus is not on a slide-rule simulation of speculative future combat, but seeing power armored space marines with chainsaw blades, giant electrified Nintendo Power Gloves, and machine gun rocket launchers fighting space elves, demons, and green-skinned football hooligans, all while you and your friends are having fun cathartically rolling buckets of dice and trash-talking! That's totally awesome! There's no other sci-fi universe like it! But let's look at this from a different perspective. Twilight Creation's Zombies! is a Beer and Pretzel game, rules-light and a ton of fun. Initial investment? probably 20 or 30 bucks. Gorka-Morka is a Beer and Pretzel miniatures game with those green-skinned football hooligans in dune buggies with big guns and axes. Initial investment? around sixty bucks for the starter box, enough for 2 players. A complete Warhammer 40k army? Six Hundred Dollars. Alternatively, you could get 2 new XBOX 360s, a budget gaming computer made DIY, or 10 brand new video games. The point I'm trying to make is that you probably won't spend a lot of money for a strategy game where you won't get too much opportunities for strategy, and, after all, you're playing strategy games because you're a big enough nerd to find thinking and strategy fun.

Alright, so 40k isn't worth it to me anymore. But what about the company itself? surely it would go out of business if people woke up and realized what a waste of money their games are. The thing is, I don't think that's who's buying and playing their games. When GW raises the price, the more reasoned and casual players opt out, but the hardcore fans keep buying and playing, because they feel it is still worth it, and thus put up with the price. So even though there are less customers, the ones that remain are paying more, making up the loss. While this may be good for short term growth, it's not good for sustainability. As time goes on, even the hardcore will no longer be able to afford it, and by 2040, Games Workshop's customer base will consist of a club of about five hundred insane, eccentric billionaires that meet at their secret chateaus in the Swiss alps to play 10,000 point games with their armies of space marines and demons bought for $200 per tactical squad or rhino APC.

As it stands, GW is in a delicate neutral point, having a large enough following to remain somewhat profitable, but having no idea of how to actually invite new players except by trying to hide the sticker price of their model kits and hope the customer doesn't notice. They might now be a niche industry since miniature gaming is to board gaming, what board gaming is to video gamers. It doesn't have to be that way though, the 40k universe being so cool that liscensing it out to video games, comic books, movies, and board games could likely be far more profitable than miniatures. GW may have re-released Space Hulk for the absurd price of $100, but Fantasy Flight Games is replicating the experience to the best of their power in the form of the Space Hulk card game, at a reasonable price point. If they keep things like that up, they could be the Tengen to GW's Nintendo. Games Workshop may die or become the TSR of the new millenia, I'm sure the 40k universe has enough fans to continue on in a format that won't break the bank, and is also more accessible to a larger audience of potential customers.

So in conclusion, goodbye Games Workshop. I had a good time playing your games with my good friends, but it is time to depart. There are new horizons and games to explore and embrace.

Miniature Wargaming on a Budget

Miniature wargaming may have the hardest time staying relevent in the 21st century. While pen and paper role-playing games are outdone at the point hack and slash styled games by their computer counterparts (I do love me some Diablo), the options of the players are still only limited by imagination. Even if they are in nature a social activity, play-by-post or Google wave games prove that the activity can still thrive in a new format. Not so with miniature wargaming. The hobby, is bulky, expensive, and requires patience that the conveinences of electronic gaming have drained away from even the nerdiest people. It doesn't help that Games Workshop, the face of the hobby, has helped to turn more folks out of it with prices rises way ahead of the inflation rate. Why spend your money on a single Land Raider when I could have days worth of easy entertainment from a copy of Red Dead Redemption or Fallout 3 for the same price? What do miniatures have left to run with?

The spectacle of it all, of course. There is little cooler than seeing two completely painted up armies numbering in the hundreds, each model painted with love, fighting it out over on a battlefield of barricades and ruined buildings. At its best, miniature wargaming is an exciting museum diorama that you get to command and control in a game of wits and tactics against a like-minded individual.

With that in mind, we need to look at the cost of these games, and what one would get out of them. A complete Warhammer 40,000 army costs about 600 dollars, give or take 100 depending on how much of a horde army you're playing. What about Flames of War, which is at this time the premier WWII game? About $300. For the price of the former, I could get a Playstation 3 or a budget gaming PC, and the latter, perhaps a Nintendo Wii. Warmachine is around $200 for a playable force, which is probably the most I could imagine the average person being willing to spend without buying the aforementioned Playstation. However, I think we can go even cheaper than that. Here's the plan. For our purposes, let's say we want to play out WW2.

#1 Go with 15mm, individually based, platoon to company scale
Big enough to be visible to the human eye and small enough to be bought cheaply, 15mm scale is perfect for our goal. based on pennies or smaller, 15mm figures can be picked up and moved around a battlefield with little issue. you could also put them with 2 per a small sized Flames of War base so they don't seem so spread out over a huge area, in case you wanted to compact them into some ruined building, or play a Soviet horde with about 50 models per squad (Za Stalinaaaagh!!!). Actually, that two models per base thing was something I just thought of moments ago. I'm totally going to do that for my next squad. As an extra bonus due to their scale, weapon and movement ranges don't have to be halved and abstracted to fit a 6' by 4' table, adding the sense of mass combat on a grand scale. a whole company of infantry can be bought in flames of war company boxes at your local store for only about $50, leaving only tanks and miscellenia. point-wise, buying a squad of 3 tanks is like getting 3 Leman Russ' for much less than the price of one.

#2 Find an applicable rule set
The Warhammer WW2 mod availible from its respective yahoo group, which covers battles at a company scale (army lists are organized simialar to the Imperial Guard, with a platoon being a troop choice). For smaller scale games, Disposable Heroes by Iron Ivan Games will fit the bill, with half a squad operating as a single unit. They've stated that they've run games upwards of battalions with the rules, so it might fight our goals well.

#3 Start painting it up
Dude, they're 15mm, it can't take too long to paint them up. All you'd need is a basecoat, followed by a quick citadel wash of black or brown

#4 Start playing
You are now ready to go out and proves yourself a masterful general. Go forth. I have shown you the door, it's up to you to open it.

Looking Back: Street Fighter II

This is it: The original, the first, the grand-daddy of the competitive fighting game. Since 1991, Street Fighter II has been considered a classic of arcade goodness and a mentionable milestone in video-game history.

Its formula is simple: two characters out of a colorful and mildly racist cast 8 (or 12, or 16) World Warriors duke it out on a 2d plane. Utilizing a variety of punches, kicks, and unique special moves, both attempt to reduce their opponents energy bar to zero. First to do so twice wins the match.

Apparently, people liked this enough to continually pump quarters into the game's machine at the 7-Elevens and arcades across the country, inspiring continued updates and expansions (4 more, in fact), merchandise, and a terrible movie with Raul Julia as the all-awesome M. Bison, master of Shadoloo (and totally sweet shin guards). Sadly, people would have to wait until 1997 for Street Fighter III (the Third Strike edition in 1999 being my favorite fighter of all time), and by then people had stopped caring, this being a combination of the decline of arcades as a whole and rise of 3D competitors like Tekken and Virtua Fighter.

though basic by today's genre standards, Street Fighter II brought untried complexity for its time. You had around 36 special moves per character, 8 of them playable and unique, and the whole thing could be learned and enjoyed on different levels. Though the balance of power may have rested with the first of your friends to discover the mighty projectile attacks, others will soon follow. The high jumping attacks of Chun-Li countered by the anti-air Shoryuken, the cheapness of constant defensive blocking undone by the realization of throwing (that's forward and a heavy punch or kick, for those who don't know). This system of checks and balances within the game proves incredible to those who take the time to notice it. Even with the increased complexity of fighting games over time, Street Fighter II has remained relevant specifically because of its simplicity, continually being played in master tournaments like EVO. No EX attacks, assists, parries, or dashes: a balance of straight offense a defense, a straight-faced game of feints and dexterity between two individuals.

It hasn't aged as well as games like Super Mario Brothers or Tetris, but when I want an excellent brawler, Street Fighter II will always be there.

Round One...

That One Finale

Like others, I decided to watch the final episode of Lost, a show about people on a mysterious island filled with strange phenomena and riddles uncounted. I started watching the show at the beginning of season 2, right after they found the hatch that led to a guy pressing buttons (the reason why was, at the time, a mystery). As time went on though, plot elements and questions as to the nature of pretty much everything on the show piled up. For every mystery solved, two new ones took their places. I quit in frustration. Flash-forward (or sideways, your choice really) a few years and we come to the end of things. I'm caught up and ready to watch the climax. Does it pay off?

Well, it could've been worse. All that really happens is that Locke (possessed by the Smoke Monster) and Jack "Protector of the Island" Shephard fight each other, a magic plug is removed and almost sinks the island, and then it's put back. Eventually, it finishes with a Jacob's Ladder homage, and Jack dies.

It's probably a good thing I didn't invest in the past few seasons, or I probably would've felt a lot more gypped by the ending. A lot of questions remain unanswered, an act of trolling by the writers on fervent, obsessively detailed fans who will never get to see the explanation to these riddles they've waited so long to be answered after their grand unified theory of LOST was smashed to pieces each season by some new revelation that changed everything.

Now genre-wise, the show is considered a drama, and not a mystery. So of course the focus, and the story as a whole, is about the characters and their relationships to one another. In that case, it's fairly well resolved. But it's not fair to introduce constant new plot elements, macguffins, and other twists without seeing them through to the end. It's like some giant "aborted arc" pile-up.

Taken as a whole, from beginning to end, Lost is a jigsaw puzzle half-complete, that if given maybe another season or so to piece them all togethor, could have produced a good, coherent whole. Instead, the show became some run-away train that was successfully stopped a mile before reaching the station. And even if they had the ending in mind from the beginning, the whole thing shouldn't have gone on for that long: maybe it was a victim of it's own success?

Goodbye Lost. You provided so many with joy.

Gaming at Conduit 2010

Well, the yearly convention again returns, with a bevy of exciting one-shots. For convenience, I've listed all the non-fantasy, non-D&D games.

FRIDAY 7:00-11:00 PM

Shadow over Obama (Call of Cthulhu)
By Ken Kersey. Some say the stars are nearly right for a change. The date the Mayans predicted for the end of the world is just days away (December 21, 2012) and the planet is in the grip of a crawling chaos - economic collapse, global pandemics, disasters, supernatural events, dogs & cats living together, mass hysteria!! Find out what happens when you mix ancient prophesies, political puppets serving a cosmic evil (possibly cyclopean or even squamous), and a discovered birth certificate. Can you and your fellow Investigators stop the "Change" or will the Earth succumb to an unspeakable apocalypse. A sanity blasting adventure designed for 5 to 10 players (experience much preferred but not required), pre-generated characters will be provided. NO PREREGISTRATION!

If this is being done by the same guy that did the mystery about Al Gore a few years back, then I'll want to check this out, if only to see what kind of actual madness may exist amongst the people who want to play this scenario for all the wrong reasons.

SATURDAY 2:00-6:00 PM

Savage Worlds: The REALLY Bad Day (RPG)
It was just another boring day at the office, made even more trite by another boring office party. Then something went very, VERY wrong, and whatever else this day may become, it certainly isn't boring.

We're all pretty cool with Savage Worlds. Defenitely Something to look into, since I'm getting a "Full Life Consequences" vibe.

7:00-11:00 PM

Call of Cthulhu Newbie Session (Call of Cthulhu)
Come learn to play the classic horror roleplaying game, Call of Cthulhu! Your friendly Keepers will walk you through creating a character, then you'll have the chance to play a short scenario. Register at the con.

Neat, we could actually play a fun horror game of CoC without dealing with people who think Obama's the Anti-Chr- I mean, strong political opinions.

Paranoia (RPG)
Ever play an RPG and said man I wish I could just kill the PC next to me? Well here is your chance come join the fear called paranoia XP. You are a clone a world of color and the Computer is your friend. DO what it tells you and you will live unless it wants you dead. Paranoia is a six die game where you play a clone in the future. You live and breath for the Computer who is well Insane.

I'll say it: I have never had as much fun with any RPG as I had playing a convention game of Paranoia. We'll play this, whether anyone likes it or not.


Vampire the Requiem LARP (LARP)
All across Utah, the call has gone out from a vampire in Park City--the call is for peace. All across the state, violence against mortal and vampire alike has been on the rise, and the source of this violence appears to have been perpetrated the vampire court of Salt Lake City, Utah. Thus the court of Salt Lake City as well as all Utahn vampires have been invited to a summit to discuss the possibility of peace between vampires (if such a thing can exist) as well as to set misunderstandings straight. Will this event bring peace to the Valley and the neighboring cities or will it only promote hostilities? From whom did this call originate and is his or her intentions honorable? And what is the cause of all the recent violence all across the state? These questions may be answered by attendance but chances are they will actually become far more complicated.

It's always fun to watch goths method act from the sideline. In another thought, wouldn't Utah kinda be the best place to hide if you're undead?

D&D 4th Edition: Why it isn't for me

I remember posting a video up on Youtube when I was young(er) and naive(er) about why 4E D&D was a pretty good role-playing game that remained (kind of) faithful to classic D&D.

My opinion has changed and, looking back, I was completely talking out of my ass.

Don't get me wrong, It's still a pretty good role-playing game, and the books themselves look absolutely great, but the game itself isn't in my style. Of course, I'm not talking about this in terms of changes from the various classic edition's rules (there never were any) or spirit (there might have been groups that played it as a series of miniature battles above all else).
Why don't I like it? Let me count the ways.

#1. Dungeons and Dragons: The Game of Fantasy Battles
4E retains the goal of accumulating power via looting ruins and stabbing orcs in the gut, which is cool. However, it takes this to the extreme. Everything is balanced around combat. I can't remember what page in the DMG this is on (someone out there help me out), but it says that a 4 hour session will likely consist of 4 fights around 20 to 30 minutes long. That's way to long to keep the attention of me or my players. All the character classes abilities are balanced around them spending half an hour using their Hadokens and Tiger Uppercut powers grinding down hit points (God help you if you try anything else). Half the excitement of classic D&D to me is exploration into the unknown, wondering what lies beyond the dungeon at the edge of town, into a vast wilderness.

In 4th edition, the time spent between a fight feels like a rush to get to the next exciting scene in a narrative linear story crafted by the game master (more on that later). Add to the fact that you are pretty much required to have a grid with miniatures since spacing and flanking is more important than ever. I know a fun activity where I spend a few hours having two teams fighting, with an emphasis on tactics and strategy, getting to watch my warriors improve from battle to battle: Skirmish wargaming. I recommend Necromunda, Gorkamorka, and Mordheim(a).

#2. Every Little Thing in its Place
The rules seem neurotic about balance (looking at magic-users in 3.x, I really don't blame them). It feels like a lot of the risk that was inherent in older editions is gone, as if a potential player who had his character die in a freak critical hit will tear up their character sheet and never play again, forever cursing the name of Dungeons & Dragons, warning any prospective new-comers...

To ensure no loss of a prospective customer base, every character is an unique and beautiful snowflake from day one of their career. This is fine by itself, allowing everyone a chance to shine on and off the battlefield. Too bad this also applied to everything else. Your adventure must have exactly 10 encounters (fights or skill challenges), give out these treasure parcels, and have this matrix of difficulty that we have set for it as a whole. What if a new player has his character come into the middle of the adventure? Maybe I'd like to put in this neat house rule? Uh-oh, then the balance of the whole thing is ruined, and all the little systems collapse in on themselves!

But don't worry, the characters will survive regardless, take this precise amount of damage, survive X amount of fights, and then rest on the 7th day. Of course, as long as they were maxed out at character creation and they're always doing the optimal action on their turn, or else...

The above probably is hyperbole, but it illustrates a point about 4th Edition. Everything must be done the way the book asks you to, and does it to the point where the game as a whole in incredibly un-modular in design. Balance and guidelines can be a comforting blanket for people like me because they ensure that as a DM, I can't possibly screw up. But eventually they act like a straight jacket denying creativity and neat ideas from outside the system. 4E has become self-aware, and now practically runs itself. When the risk and danger that random elements provide are taken away, so is the excitement of the players possibly failing, and the game ceases to be entertaining. And isn't entertainment the reason why we play these games?

#3. It May Be Built on a Gimmick
I'm sure every critic of the game has compared the class "powers" system to another game, that one game, a computer game itself inspired by D&D. I'll be tactful and not state its name. Regardless, it's probably responsible for a number of people leaving the role-playing hobby, the rest remaining as the players who continue to play games like D&D for all the right reasons. This is probably a dumb theory, but might the power systems alongside narrative linear adventure design be a way to get people back into playing these games they abandoned? but here lies a problem: If I wanted to play that one game, I'd just play it. Why bother with an expensive and confusing knock-off in book form? That one game can do the math for me. That one game was written by professional writers and storytellers. That one game has tangible graphics and can take me on an epic quest across a fantasy world with sixty character levels of play.
Interactivity and the act of collaborative storytelling is one of the few things that traditional role-playing games have left over their digital counterparts. The more we attempt to compete with that one game, the more outdated we look.
Traditional RPGs aren't inferior, they're just something completely different, and I can't wait for something like the holodeck to finally replace them.

This whole article probably comes off as a bit Grognard.txt, because it kinda is. I might harsh feelings for 4E, but not of the people who enjoy it. Claiming whether they must like it or not isn't my position, and it never should be.

The meaning of rules and an interesting article

"The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules."
Gary Gygax

Just a quick musing, but I always thought that OD&D was ridiculously hard on players because if Swords and Wizardry is a clone of the original game, that kind of stuff would be in the three brown books. Then I look through the actual OD&D rules, and I realize something: What rules?

The booklets have no real instructions on handing out experience points (it states a troll has 700 xp, leading to people to believe that it's 100 xp per hit die), nor the amount of treasure found per monster, let alone how xp from it is divvied up. Of the rules that really are there, they are quite obtuse in writing (an elf can choose whether to be a fighter of a magic-user at the beginning of each adventure. What constitutes an adventure? A session? When the referee says?) I would go so to say that Original D&D is almost impossible to play without a hefty amount of house ruling. In reality, Swords and Wizardry is just one of many interpretations of what said rules mean.

For so long I've played games that explicitly tell me what to do and how to play and how to reward players along with hundreds of pages worth of rules to cover miniscule events that might pop up. Going back in time to this savage age of "guidelines" and "interpretation" is scary and frustrating, yet oddly liberating. I can't actually argue that our group is "playing it wrong", if there isn't any text on how to play in the first place. It's up to us. Our game, our rules.

In related news, here's an excellent article on why I shouldn't bother with linear plot in RPGs:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/checkfortraps/7540-Check-for-Traps-It-s-Not-Your-Story

Weww Hewwo evewyboy!

BROWNIES

Brownies are tiny, stunted, naive fairy-folk who live in close-knit communes. Despite their origins, they posses little magic power, and seem to be nothing more than a cruel joke by some capricious, long-dead fey god. 1-1/2’ tall and not too smart, Brownies lie below even kobolds in a dungeon food chain, and survive as a species through an incredibly large reproduction rate. Though a single-sex species, they all appear to be male, with excess facial growth, stylized, curled mustaches being the most common.

Armor Class: 8

Hit Dice: 1d2 hp

Attacks: Weapon, usually a sharpened stick (1d2)

Saving Throw: 19

Special: None

Move: 10

XP: 25