Christian Humber Reloaded: Yet Another "Worst fanfiction ever"

"Know, O Nerd, that between the years when the spam drank fanfiction.net and the gleaming deviantart, and the rise of the Sons of Furry, there was an Age undreamed of, when awful fanfics lay spread across the internet like shit-brown mantles beneath the servers - My Immortal, Sonic in the Search for Love, Rectified Anonymity with its Poke'bestiality and genital mutilation, Squad Broken with its Space Marine that comes back as a Necron and jams a Gauss Flayer up an Ork's ass, Full life Consequences that bordered the pastoral lands of Haloes in Space... But the proudest fanfic of the world was Christian Humber Reloaded, reigning supreme in the dreaming basement.
Hither came Vash, grey-haired, dark-eyed, gunblade in hand, a wolf, a bounty hunter, a Gary Stu, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic author surrogacy, to tread the jeweled thrones of the web under his pawed feet."

This one, discovered by SA goons during some modern midnight conversation, actually has a back story behind it so vivid, that the chances of this being a troll seem unlikely.

“It is a terrible fanfic like many terrible fanfics, but it is different in a key, key fashion: It has the most powerful self-insertion character I’ve ever seen. I have no doubt that, in time, something new and worse will be offered, but few are so overpowered and at such length as Christian Humber, or shall we say Vash Blade Rarely-Referenced-To-And-Always-Different Last Name. Further, few have touched so many different fandoms in their Bad Places, to the point where damn near every internet nerd will have a favorite or reviled series of anime or game abused at some point. Watch as Christian Humber shows up everyone from the Space Marines to the Protoss to the Bionicle to Neo to Sora to Alucard (The One From Hellsing) to random street gangs to dragons to… notably, NOT Street Sharks. I assume it’s Street Sharks he refers to, because he’s a mutant shark wearing coconut armor, and, despite being gene-spliced to become a mutant shark, is nonetheless mostly cybernetic. He is the only character Christian Humber respects, seemingly to the point of arousal. The rest are fodder, an excuse for a new power or artifact or both.”

I'd say this was a troll, but apparently it was written by some kid at a boarding school named, well, Christian Humber. According to legend he was apparently a withdrawn, likely Asperger suffering anime fan. He was so anti-social and seperated from classmates that the administration removed all his anime and manga and video games and internet. This did nothing to help. Instead, he went to another outlet to immerse himself in his fantasy world: writing. Thus was the long, unending epic of Christian Humber Reloaded born.

I don't think anybody could make it through the text alive, but some goons did a complete graphic novel adaptaion of the entire work here. It then becomes hilarious.